Andrew Harnik//Getty Images

It was a red-letter day for trading favors around the Oval Office on Tuesday, a red letter delivered, of course, in a plain brown envelope. First, out of pure spite and corporate avarice, the president effectively shuttered the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, guaranteeing that credit-card hustlers and loan-company sharpers can run amok among the populace again. From The Washington Post:

The system is called X Money, and in the vision sketched out by executives, it would allow millions of users on X to instantly send money to friends, family members, and others. Heralding it as a breakthrough in finance, the company said in late January it would launch this year with the support of Visa, which processes billions of transactions globally. Because of its direct ties to bank accounts and debit cards, X Money normally would fall under the remit of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, an agency with vast powers to crack down on unfair, deceptive and predatory corporate practices. Formed in the wake of the 2008 financial collapse, the CFPB has policed traditional banks and lenders as well as Apple, Google, and other tech giants that seek to offer digital versions of those services.

The CFPB, a highly effective federal agency and, therefore, a thing to be destroyed by the cargo-shorts cargo cult currently on a rampage throughout the executive branch. It is also the brainchild of Senator Professor Warren, against whom the president has that deep and profound grudge that he holds against anyone who is demonstrably smarter than he is. So with the blood of USAID still fresh on their hands, the DOGE bros have arrived at the CFPB’s door. From The Hill:

However, as Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) sweeps into one agency after another with the directive to slash wide swaths of government funding, the new assault on the CFPB has sparked concerns from consumer advocacy groups and Democratic lawmakers about just how far the administration will go this time.

“I think everyone assumes this is the USAID playbook, and I think everyone’s operating off of the assumption that we’re about to get annihilated, the way that they were annihilated,” a CFPB employee told The Hill, referring to the U.S. Agency for International Development. The moves at the CFPB have drawn parallels with USAID, where staff were also told to stay out of headquarters and cease work before the Trump administration attempted to place thousands of employees on administrative leave. The effort was put on hold by a federal judge Friday night.

Also, in one of the most preposterous press opportunities since LBJ’s beagles departed the premises, the president and Porcelain Boy announced a plan to freeze all investigations of foreign corruption on the part of American corporations, essentially shredding the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977. This is, of course, insane. From The New York Times:

Trump administration officials have also ordered the shutdown of an initiative to seize assets owned by foreign kleptocrats, dialed back scrutiny of foreign influence efforts aimed at the United States and replaced the top career Justice Department official handling corruption cases. The moves by Mr. Trump and his Justice Department were somewhat in line with a critique by conservative lawyers of prosecutors. They argue prosecutors have long overused anti-corruption law to try to punish political behavior that, while unethical, unpopular, or unwise, is not criminal.

But to some current and former Justice Department officials, the steps reflect the degree to which Mr. Trump—as a politician who has faced multiple indictments, and a real estate magnate who prioritizes deal-making—is deeply antagonistic to law enforcement efforts to clean up politics and corporations.

Nothing gets by those former DOJ employees, boy.

The whole carnival midway act in the Oval Office was unprecedentedly, transcendentally weird. Musk brought along one of his children—a son named X Æ A-Xii, but everyone calls him ii—as a prop. (The kid earned his place in the sun by picking his nose, clearly revolting the Germophobe in Chief.) Meanwhile, Pops rambled on as though his speech center were run by monkeys. But the clowns only work the sideshows. The center ring is pay-to-play.